Currently Listening to Gwen Stefani- Cool
Love works so strangely.
It's like sometimes you feel so secure. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is the man that will hold my hand for the rest of my life. This is the man I will grow old with. The man who will wake up next to me everyday morning until i die.
Then there are days when that seems further from the truth. I cannot understand how two lovers become enemies. It is mind boggling. Is that when you're supposed to move on? I feel like love is a giant roller coaster of anxiety and emotion. There are days when I feel relaxed, confident and secure. Then there are days that fill me with self- doubt. What am I doing with my life?
I can't picture myself leaving, but I feel like sometimes I deserve to feel wanted all the time. And I don't feel like that is selfish at all.
I feel wanted 50% of the time and that's not good enough. It sucks to be the one on the short end of the stick. I hate love.
I feel like I may never get his full affection. I want it so badly,but it just disappoints me in the end. I wait and long and yearn for his love. But somehow just knowing about his past relationship make me feel like the inferior one.
TO BE CONTINUED...
