depRessed

I wish you were awake right now...
so maybe we could talk. I've been feeling really angry lately. Sometimes about us. I don't want a break. I don't need one from you but I feel like it's the only way you can really appreciate me and I can figure things out on my own. I don't feel like i'm attractive to you anymore. I feel not so sexy in front of you either. I miss the way we are together. I feel like now you see me as somebody who is just around to help clean and cook and take care of you, but how can that be attractive to you? I just feel like you can't think i'm sexy. It used to be so easy. But now I feel embarrassed even to talk to you about it. And like today, yeah I'm so tired from work then rushing over to meet you before Superbowl Sunday where you didn't introduce me to anybody until you saw how awkward I was acting. Like seriously how can it not hit you? I introduce you to everyone. It's like your so unexcited or even ashamed of me that you don't want your family to know. And dear goodness if you think somebody is hott right in front of me please don't drool over her in front of me. I swear to god I am just reaching my limit of how expendable I can be. And I am once again really sick of hearing about how bad of a mother you and I both know how Ur baby's mama can be. It's like I don't know what can we do about it? nothing. Why do I have to hear her name every 5 minutes of the day? I am so tired of it. I know you say you love me, but actions speak much louder than words. If you truly cared then FUCKING ACT LIKE IT. because maybe if you did I wouldn't always feel so fucking lonely in your cozy relationship. Right now I feel lonely and your just in the other room. You say you care but it's like if you did you would put an effort into spending alone time with me. I don't care if you have not much extra money to spend on me at all. I am very independent. It's the thought that counts. Like you getting pissy at me when we talk about valentines day. I DON'T CARE ABOUT MONEY. Is that te only thing that you think makes me love you? Regardless of money or whatever all I need from you is just something to show me you care.

I don't ever wanna leave you. I want to be with you but how can you not notice how lonely I am?