aggrivated

I am going to blow up the world today.

Test today.
Project due tomorrow.
reader response due tomorrow.
sociology project due monday.
work wed-sun.

i drank so much coffee and now i am sick.
Cigarettes can no longer suffice this stress.
I'm not going to look for a new home for me and bear and kade to move into.
i am tired of searching.
i cant fit anything into my schedule anymore.
i am too tired to do anything.
but i don't make enough money to coast and sleep.

sometimes I feel like what is the point.
i don't get any recognition for how hard I work.
i am only doing each job in my life half way.

i am not a good daughter, girlfriend, student, waitress, step mom, sister, pet owner.
when will i get what i want?
i feel like i never will.
I have too many things I need to finish.
i just don't see the pay off anymore.
It's beginning to feel pointless to me again.
i feel like i am living an ever present repetitious cycle of endlessness.

Today is no good. no time to rest. no more time to write.
i gotta get going.